Burn Out

I have been a Type I, insulin-dependent diabetic for twenty-two years and for most of that time, I've done well (enough). No complications, good A1C levels, good weight control. Lately, though, life with diabetes has been a roller-coaster and I am afraid it's going to catch up to me.

That's why I've created this blog. I work full time and pursue writing on the side, so my schedule stays busy (a lot of time spent at the computer). I don't have any weight to lose, but I still consider exercise a very important part of my life. Lately, I've suffered depression and diabetes burn out.

That's right, I'm burned out. I get burned out from exercise, I take a break. I get burned out from work, I take a vacation. I get burned out from my writing, I take a break. Not so with diabetes. I cannot take a vacation from diabetes, it is a part of me, a part of my life, and I cannot ignore it.

I've created this blog to help me journal about things that bother me and to get my blood sugars back on track. I created this blog to reach out to others who may be going through some of the issues I am going through. I created this blog because writing things down helps me to focus on the problem and to get through it, but journaling hasn't done anything for me lately. Blogging about it makes it more "out there", and I'm a pretty private person. I hope blogging about it will make me more aware of what I'm doing and make me fix it.

My blood sugars have been higher than they ever have in my life. I haven't been eating right, so I know that is mostly to blame. I don't have the time or the energy to make a healthy gourmet meal at home. I may throw some chicken in the oven and eat whatever else I have. I may have a glass of wine or a beer at night after a hard day of work. And my exercise program is suffering.

I know a lot of it is because now I am a published author and I'm trying to continue to write and promote while working full time. I have a lot on my plate and I've let my diabetes control slip. I had to change doctors because my doctor left. I liked my doctor but even more, I liked my diabetes educator. The place I am going now is one of the most popular endocrinologists nearby, but I don't care for them. So yes, I have a lot on my plate, a lot to deal with as we all do, and I am here because, though I've had diabetes for twenty-two years, I am way too young to give up. And I'm not about to!