Getting Better

I've been doing a lot better this week. Not perfect, by any means. Some highs and lows. Of course, with better management comes more lows. I just have to carry juice with me at all times and be sure to get my snacks.

My Problems...and the solutions I want to attempt

1. I am a horrible record keeper. I don’t write down my sugars, insulin intake or carbs. I have a pocket PC and I even bought diabetes “check books”, and though I’ve gotten a little better, I still miss hours or days. I had a software program at one time, but it’s not compatible with my newest machine. My Paradigm 515 has its on machine, but my insurance doesn’t pay for those strips.

Solution: Set aside time everyday to jot down sugars.

2. I don’t count carbs. I know how, but I don’t take the time to measure my foods. If it’s prepackaged (like my prepackaged oatmeal and the raisins I add to it), I will do it. Otherwise, I guess a lot. I have a certain glass that I know is a cup without measuring. My dietician told me to make a fist and measure my foods that way (your fist supposedly equals a cup) but I don’t always succeed.

Solution: Measure my foods by using measuring cups.

3. Certain foods affect my sugars and I know this, but I won’t do anything about it. Pasta is hell on my sugars and rice makes it low, no matter what. Pasta will make it high hours later, as does pizza and high flour content food, like chicken pot pie, but I won’t use my extended bolus.

Solution: Learn and utilize every feature of the insulin pump.

4. I overcompensate for low blood sugar and high blood sugar.

Solution: Keep 15 grams of “boxed” juice or glucose tabs on hand at all times. Bolus for any extra food when sugar is high.

5. I take my insulin right when I eat or after I eat. After all, what if I don’t eat everything on my plate?

Solution: Bolus at least fifteen minutes before, even if it’s only half now and the rest after I complete my meal.

6. I have a carb counter, but I never use it.

Solution: Carry my carb book everywhere I go and memorize my favorite foods.

7. I used to get up in the middle of the night to check my sugars, now I don’t.

Solution: Get up a couple of times a week or at least on those nights when I eat something strange.

8. I don’t aggressively manage my disease with my team.

Solution: Be aggressive. This is my life we’re talking about.

9. I don’t commune with other diabetics and believe I’m the only one going through these problems in my area. Support groups are too far away and most diabetics I know are type 2 and just don’t understand.

Solution: Join an online support group and remember my family has always been supportive if I just open up.

10. I resent my disease, yet I act like it doesn’t affect my life. If I’m stressed, it’s because I’m stressed and diabetes has nothing to do with it nor is it affected (that’s my myth, anyway). I don’t talk about my diabetes with anyone because I feel like they don’t care or understand and they darn sure don’t want to hear about my health problems when everything else about me appears normal.

Solution: That’s what this blog is for.

Burn Out

I have been a Type I, insulin-dependent diabetic for twenty-two years and for most of that time, I've done well (enough). No complications, good A1C levels, good weight control. Lately, though, life with diabetes has been a roller-coaster and I am afraid it's going to catch up to me.

That's why I've created this blog. I work full time and pursue writing on the side, so my schedule stays busy (a lot of time spent at the computer). I don't have any weight to lose, but I still consider exercise a very important part of my life. Lately, I've suffered depression and diabetes burn out.

That's right, I'm burned out. I get burned out from exercise, I take a break. I get burned out from work, I take a vacation. I get burned out from my writing, I take a break. Not so with diabetes. I cannot take a vacation from diabetes, it is a part of me, a part of my life, and I cannot ignore it.

I've created this blog to help me journal about things that bother me and to get my blood sugars back on track. I created this blog to reach out to others who may be going through some of the issues I am going through. I created this blog because writing things down helps me to focus on the problem and to get through it, but journaling hasn't done anything for me lately. Blogging about it makes it more "out there", and I'm a pretty private person. I hope blogging about it will make me more aware of what I'm doing and make me fix it.

My blood sugars have been higher than they ever have in my life. I haven't been eating right, so I know that is mostly to blame. I don't have the time or the energy to make a healthy gourmet meal at home. I may throw some chicken in the oven and eat whatever else I have. I may have a glass of wine or a beer at night after a hard day of work. And my exercise program is suffering.

I know a lot of it is because now I am a published author and I'm trying to continue to write and promote while working full time. I have a lot on my plate and I've let my diabetes control slip. I had to change doctors because my doctor left. I liked my doctor but even more, I liked my diabetes educator. The place I am going now is one of the most popular endocrinologists nearby, but I don't care for them. So yes, I have a lot on my plate, a lot to deal with as we all do, and I am here because, though I've had diabetes for twenty-two years, I am way too young to give up. And I'm not about to!