I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been busy. Busy battling diabetes, working in a job I hate, and trying to help dear hubby run the business.
Today, I'm going to talk about forgetfulness. I think everyone is forgetful on occasion, but I've really been concerned about my forgetfulness lately. Even if my blood sugar is perfect, I forget things. Word definitions or spellings I used to know, someone's name, a telephone number. I even forget what I'm about to say when I'm talking to someone.
Experts say that forgetfulness in diabetics can be caused by too low or too high blood sugar, but I've also heard that diabetics are prone to early dementia. I do what I can, but sometimes I don't try to memorize things like I used to. It's almost like my mind has too much information, and I need a serious information dumb. I know that stress can be a huge cause, but sometimes I wonder if it's hopeless. I have diabetes, so is my memory hopeless? Am I going to forget, no matter what I do?
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Taking Care of Your Heart
I haven't mentioned it until now, but last week I had to have a nuclear stress test done. I guess I'm just so stressed, they wanted to add to it, LOL.
I'm pretty sure everything came out okay, but it got me to thinking about how grateful I am that I've taken care of myself and my heart all these years. With exercise, trying to eat more flaxseed, whole grains, healthy foods and exercise, I've been pretty lucky not have have complications.
Despite that, sometimes it's hard not to feel resentful. I'm battling with resentment of "have to", "need to" or "should".
I should keep record of my blood sugars. I have to eat right. I really really need to exercise (which used to not be a problem for me, but lately has).
Ah, but that's life, isn't it? Instead of feeling burdened by all I have to do, I should feel grateful of all I can do. It's a struggle sometimes, though I know a lot of people have more on their plate than I do, I don't see how they manage at times. No matter the struggle, though, taking care of myself is first and foremost the most important thing I can do.
Besides, I should be used to it by now. :-)
I'm pretty sure everything came out okay, but it got me to thinking about how grateful I am that I've taken care of myself and my heart all these years. With exercise, trying to eat more flaxseed, whole grains, healthy foods and exercise, I've been pretty lucky not have have complications.
Despite that, sometimes it's hard not to feel resentful. I'm battling with resentment of "have to", "need to" or "should".
I should keep record of my blood sugars. I have to eat right. I really really need to exercise (which used to not be a problem for me, but lately has).
Ah, but that's life, isn't it? Instead of feeling burdened by all I have to do, I should feel grateful of all I can do. It's a struggle sometimes, though I know a lot of people have more on their plate than I do, I don't see how they manage at times. No matter the struggle, though, taking care of myself is first and foremost the most important thing I can do.
Besides, I should be used to it by now. :-)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Record Keeping
As a writer, you'd think I'd be a better recordkeeper. I'm not. I'll check my blood sugar and go about my business without taking the time to write it down.
How much time does it really take, anyway? If I write it down then and there, it takes less time than to go through my blood sugar machine later and write it down, then try to remember what I did, what I ate, my insulin, etc.
I've tried everything, but nothing works. I bought a checkbook time blood sugar recordkeeper, but didn't use it. I've made my own. I've stuffed the charts that the doctor's office gives me in my blood sugar case. I just don't use it. Finally, I decided I needed some excitement, so I bought a really cute journal with pink pages from the dollar store. I figured I could journal my sugars, my insulin/carbs, etc.
I haven't done it!
I imagine other diabetics going to the doctor with the record books intact and just being perfect in their detail. I must be the only one who has to sit there in shame and say "I'm not a very good recordkeeper". The Dr. tells me I'm not the only one, but I believe I must be the worst.
My goal next time is to go in there with records and blow them away. Be prepared. Be organized. (A writer, organized?)
I'm challenging myself to do something major. I'm going to see if it really does only take 21 days to form a habit. I will attempt to write in my diabetes journal everyday. No more excuses!
How much time does it really take, anyway? If I write it down then and there, it takes less time than to go through my blood sugar machine later and write it down, then try to remember what I did, what I ate, my insulin, etc.
I've tried everything, but nothing works. I bought a checkbook time blood sugar recordkeeper, but didn't use it. I've made my own. I've stuffed the charts that the doctor's office gives me in my blood sugar case. I just don't use it. Finally, I decided I needed some excitement, so I bought a really cute journal with pink pages from the dollar store. I figured I could journal my sugars, my insulin/carbs, etc.
I haven't done it!
I imagine other diabetics going to the doctor with the record books intact and just being perfect in their detail. I must be the only one who has to sit there in shame and say "I'm not a very good recordkeeper". The Dr. tells me I'm not the only one, but I believe I must be the worst.
My goal next time is to go in there with records and blow them away. Be prepared. Be organized. (A writer, organized?)
I'm challenging myself to do something major. I'm going to see if it really does only take 21 days to form a habit. I will attempt to write in my diabetes journal everyday. No more excuses!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Cholesterol?
I should be ashamed to admit that my LDL cholesterol at my last doctor's visit is high enough that they want me to start taking a small dose of Crestor. Yikes!
Being a diabetic for years, I have studied everything there is to study about nutrition, but it doesn't seem to make me eat any healthier. I actually usually eat pretty healthy, or at least I used to, but I'm still struggling with burn-out. When will it go away?
The best thing, I know, is to continue to eat well and exercise and get rid of every unnecessary and overwhelming thought (such as "I have too much to do").
It's funny, because I found this in my email today about burn-out:
http://www.dlife.com/generation_d/2007/08/bitesized_diabetes.html
Being a diabetic for years, I have studied everything there is to study about nutrition, but it doesn't seem to make me eat any healthier. I actually usually eat pretty healthy, or at least I used to, but I'm still struggling with burn-out. When will it go away?
The best thing, I know, is to continue to eat well and exercise and get rid of every unnecessary and overwhelming thought (such as "I have too much to do").
It's funny, because I found this in my email today about burn-out:
http://www.dlife.com/generation_d/2007/08/bitesized_diabetes.html
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Medtronic Minimed Insulin Pump
I own a Medtronic Minimed pump and they automatically ship me my supplies and charge it to my account, which I pay weekly. Insurance doesn’t pay for much, and I pay what I can on a weekly basis. It’s not cheap and my bill is $1475. Mostly because they ship them whenever they want, I have extra supplies for that reason, and I’ve never called to “cancel” my automatic shipments. My fault, I know.
The other day, I got a phone call saying there was a credit block on my shipment, so I called and dealt with the rudest person imaginable. Naturally, I didn’t do much but get mad, tell him he doesn’t have to be so rude and forget it I’m not going to work anything out with him, and I hung up. I pay them $25 a week and he asked if I’d set up a payment plan. Well, I’ve been paying $25 a week for the past four years (I didn’t tell him this, though I should have) and no one has ever tried to set up a payment plan with me, I just send them money and get bills whenever (and the bills are never the same, sometimes I get two separate ones, now how am I supposed to differentiate those?)
I am NOT trying to get away from paying. I would never do that, but these people treat me like I am and it infuriates me.
Did hanging up make me feel better? No, but customer service sucks and I’m getting tired of it. You go to the grocery store, people are rude. Does anyone ask if you need help carrying out your groceries anymore? Most of the time they don’t even say “hi, how are you today? Did you find everything you needed?” At least not in my town.
We treat others like they are a problem, like they are in the way. No wonder we’re at war. No wonder people are killing each other in schools.
Okay, that was harsh, but seriously, most people never think about anyone other than themselves anymore, IMO. Just because you think I'm a slimeball for not paying my balance in full for insulin supplies so that I can continue to take my insulin so that I can continue to live does not mean you have to treat me like a piece of trash. That, above all else, infuriates me.
Oh, guess what customer service people? When you treat others that way, they aren't usually going to want to pay, or work with you. Call it my "rebellious" nature.
We need to be more altruistic, and altruism is NOT just about money. We can give without giving money. We can give a smile. We can give a hug. We can give a “thank you” and “you’re welcome” and try to spread joy instead of negativity throughout our communities and our nations. Why don’t more people try this? If you smile and they don’t accept that smile, do you snarl and go on? Yes, I have a time or two. I saw a former coworker one day and smiled and said hello, and she didn’t smile or say one word. I knew she recognized me, but I chalked it up to busyness. Weeks or months later it happened again, she walked right by me and looked at me so I know she saw me, but didn’t say a word. I said “never mind if you want to be like that” and turned away from her. I’m pretty sure she stopped a moment. I HOPE she stopped to think about her attitude.
See, I’m not usually like that and I’m not an aggressive person, but I’m getting to be. I’d definitely like to be more so. If people are going to be rude, I’m tired of letting it bother me and letting it slide. We all have our problems and may appear "standoffish" but rudeness is downright wrong!
(These little stresses affect blood sugars and lots of other things, by the way.)
Tomorrow, I’ll try calling Minimed again, and maybe I’ll pour on the sweetness as thick as syrup that it’s so obviously fake (I hate that almost as much as rudeness, LOL). After all, I’ve seen it work for other people, why not me?
Or I could try to write a really nice but really rude letter. I don't know, and I don't know if I care (because not only am I rebellious, I'm a procrastinator and I was good just to make the first phone call. They shouldn't have taken advantage of it and maybe we could have worked something out to their benefit).
The other day, I got a phone call saying there was a credit block on my shipment, so I called and dealt with the rudest person imaginable. Naturally, I didn’t do much but get mad, tell him he doesn’t have to be so rude and forget it I’m not going to work anything out with him, and I hung up. I pay them $25 a week and he asked if I’d set up a payment plan. Well, I’ve been paying $25 a week for the past four years (I didn’t tell him this, though I should have) and no one has ever tried to set up a payment plan with me, I just send them money and get bills whenever (and the bills are never the same, sometimes I get two separate ones, now how am I supposed to differentiate those?)
I am NOT trying to get away from paying. I would never do that, but these people treat me like I am and it infuriates me.
Did hanging up make me feel better? No, but customer service sucks and I’m getting tired of it. You go to the grocery store, people are rude. Does anyone ask if you need help carrying out your groceries anymore? Most of the time they don’t even say “hi, how are you today? Did you find everything you needed?” At least not in my town.
We treat others like they are a problem, like they are in the way. No wonder we’re at war. No wonder people are killing each other in schools.
Okay, that was harsh, but seriously, most people never think about anyone other than themselves anymore, IMO. Just because you think I'm a slimeball for not paying my balance in full for insulin supplies so that I can continue to take my insulin so that I can continue to live does not mean you have to treat me like a piece of trash. That, above all else, infuriates me.
Oh, guess what customer service people? When you treat others that way, they aren't usually going to want to pay, or work with you. Call it my "rebellious" nature.
We need to be more altruistic, and altruism is NOT just about money. We can give without giving money. We can give a smile. We can give a hug. We can give a “thank you” and “you’re welcome” and try to spread joy instead of negativity throughout our communities and our nations. Why don’t more people try this? If you smile and they don’t accept that smile, do you snarl and go on? Yes, I have a time or two. I saw a former coworker one day and smiled and said hello, and she didn’t smile or say one word. I knew she recognized me, but I chalked it up to busyness. Weeks or months later it happened again, she walked right by me and looked at me so I know she saw me, but didn’t say a word. I said “never mind if you want to be like that” and turned away from her. I’m pretty sure she stopped a moment. I HOPE she stopped to think about her attitude.
See, I’m not usually like that and I’m not an aggressive person, but I’m getting to be. I’d definitely like to be more so. If people are going to be rude, I’m tired of letting it bother me and letting it slide. We all have our problems and may appear "standoffish" but rudeness is downright wrong!
(These little stresses affect blood sugars and lots of other things, by the way.)
Tomorrow, I’ll try calling Minimed again, and maybe I’ll pour on the sweetness as thick as syrup that it’s so obviously fake (I hate that almost as much as rudeness, LOL). After all, I’ve seen it work for other people, why not me?
Or I could try to write a really nice but really rude letter. I don't know, and I don't know if I care (because not only am I rebellious, I'm a procrastinator and I was good just to make the first phone call. They shouldn't have taken advantage of it and maybe we could have worked something out to their benefit).
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Controlling Sugars
My post today is about controlling sugars and the importance of doing so, but it isn't my eyes, kidneys, nerves, feet or heart I'm going to discuss. It's my mood.
It's so hard to control your mood as it is, even worse when you have diabetes. I used to get so mad at my family, because if I was having a bad day or complained or got angry or upset, it must have been my blood sugar. What am I, a robot? I have emotions, you know.
Now that I am older, I realize, though not at the time, how vital a role blood sugar plays on my emotions or mood. If my sugar gets low, I stay low for long periods, even when my sugar is back up again. It affects my mind state for hours after, and that's a bad thing for a writer. It's important, for my next novel, that I don't let my sugar fluctuate from one end to another. It's important that I eat the right type of nutrients, because it's easy enough to be lazy, tired, and rundown after work when you still have dinner and family to tend to, even more so when your sugar is off. Up and down is not good for anything.
It's so hard to control your mood as it is, even worse when you have diabetes. I used to get so mad at my family, because if I was having a bad day or complained or got angry or upset, it must have been my blood sugar. What am I, a robot? I have emotions, you know.
Now that I am older, I realize, though not at the time, how vital a role blood sugar plays on my emotions or mood. If my sugar gets low, I stay low for long periods, even when my sugar is back up again. It affects my mind state for hours after, and that's a bad thing for a writer. It's important, for my next novel, that I don't let my sugar fluctuate from one end to another. It's important that I eat the right type of nutrients, because it's easy enough to be lazy, tired, and rundown after work when you still have dinner and family to tend to, even more so when your sugar is off. Up and down is not good for anything.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Dr. Appointment
Today was my quarterly doctor's appointment, and I was curious to know how it was going to go because I knew my A1C would be higher than usual. It was 6.5%, which isn't as bad as it could have been but worse than it's been in awhile. So I decided to look back on my records and found most of them going back to 1999. I couldn't find a few years, probably because my doctor didn't give me a print out (the one I'm going to now doesn't give me one). I like to have them, but I write them down when she tells me and I thought I'd just start posting here. It's good to see a trend, and one step forward for my lack of organization.
My doctor appreciated that I was writing my sugars down better, and she told me not to beat myself up over or blame myself (which why not, it is my fault!) She did stress, though, to take care of myself.
Lessons from a diabetic who was diagnosed over 20 years ago...take care of yourself, eat right, exercise,write your sugars down, and see your doctor often. I'm proud to see my A1C levels never going over 7%, and that was even before I wore an insulin pump.
My doctor appreciated that I was writing my sugars down better, and she told me not to beat myself up over or blame myself (which why not, it is my fault!) She did stress, though, to take care of myself.
Lessons from a diabetic who was diagnosed over 20 years ago...take care of yourself, eat right, exercise,write your sugars down, and see your doctor often. I'm proud to see my A1C levels never going over 7%, and that was even before I wore an insulin pump.
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